Scheduled sex: a way out or a dead end?
Have you looked in your diary to see the note "Rip off each other's clothes (passionately)" and postponed your plans for the evening? Would that be just as nice? Let's try to figure it out.
Here we should note: there is no definite answer to the question of whether the planned sex is right for you. People are different, and everyone has their own understanding of comfort. Let's consider the pros and cons.
If you have been together for less that a year, scheduled sex could be out of question for you because you may think that sex has to be spontaneous. Rather, it will seem wild to you: how can you kill the most valuable thing in sex - spontaneity? You might be sure that passion has to catch you in the most inappropriate moment.
However, after a few years, many couples begin to face problems in the intimate sphere. And they are not always determined by the quality of sex - rather, by its quantity. In the early stages of relationships, partners often sacrificed their comfort for a bright night of love: let's say you could have sex until 5 in the morning, despite the fact that you had to get up to work early. Over time, however, your life returns to normal, as inadequate sleep kills productivity.
And then we begin to sacrifice our sexual health. When children appear, the situation gets even worse. You suffer from the lack of time and personal space. However you still feel the desire to have sex. One possible way out is to make a schedule of sex. But you don;t have to do it.
Scheduled sex: arguments for:
1. Mismatch of temperaments. Often, one partner wants to make love more often than the other, which leads to conflicts. If sex is planned for several days in advance, the one who has a stronger temperament does not get annoyed, because he knows exactly when he can get relief, and the second one can prepare in advance and tune in to the desired mood.
2. Lack of time and personal space. When children are born to a family, spouses start spending all their time on them, often forgetting about their own needs. Planned sex will allow you to carve out time and personal space. By the appointed day, the spouses can, for example, ask the grandmother to stay with the baby or wake up early while the baby is still in bed.
3. Mismatch of work schedules. This is also one of the most common problems for a married couple. Hours of work may not coincide, or spouses may be tired in different ways. Scheduled sex in such situations can be the best solution, since partners can have an idea of when they will have time and desire.
4. Inability to relax. The modern rhythm of life leaves no chances to just relax and have fun: every now and then you think about work, listen to your smartphone, look out of the corner of your eye at your email ... Sex seems to be there, but as if with someone else, not with you. However, if you know that both you and your partner have a couple of hours that belong only to you, and no one will bother you, it is quite possible to plunge into passion and finally remember what an orgasm is.
Scheduled sex: arguments against
1. Feeling as if you are doing your duty. Not everyone likes the idea of planning everything in advance. It seems like sex loses all its atmosphere and sensuality. Sex becomes a duty - like washing floors or brushing your teeth.
2. Lack of flexibility. Any schedule is good only if your life is relatively calm. However, if your schedule has a lot of blind spots or unforeseen circumstances, then planning will be completely meaningless - one way or another, you will have to rely on the chance.
3.Bad mood. Planning won't help here either. On the contrary, having sex on schedule, which is broken due to lack of desire of one of the partners, can be more upsetting than spontaneous.
You must try scheduled sex to see if it will work for you or not